Self Design

Not perfect, but perfectly designed
body soul and mind
laid out with precision.
A life planned imperceptible to most
Never dependent always the host.
Permission never asked, no need to be granted.
Ideas and thoughts original, never planted.
Automatic and impulsive.
Living just to live.
Giving just to give.
Loving just for fun.
Always on the run.

Optimistic to a fault.
Learned but not taught.
Happy just to be.
Knowing wholly all of me.

The changes were slow. The changes were slight.
Yet, they happened over night.
Goals forgotten, amended laws of right.
Accepting good enough from all else,
its all good;
No longer demanding perfection of self,
I cannot, but I could.

A stranger stares back from a mirror of revelation
bounce from horror to elation
and back again.
The edges of self worn too thin.
What was can never be
acceptance of self negates once was me.

Perfecting this stranger impossible dreams
knowing life really is only what it seems.

Living in a shadow of lust.
Giving because I must.
Loving for love; it's fun still
On the run can kill
but banality definitely will.

Pessimism my biggest fault.
Learning all I'm being taught.
Struggling just to be.
Hoping this version is a good enough me.

Watching what others observe
Calculating what I deserve
Weigh and measure.
Obey and pleasure.
Hoping for acceptance

Destroyed by one glance.
Smile because I still dance.
Thankful for my Chance.
Strong enough still to hold my stance
when not run through by self doubt's lance.

Not perfect, but perfectly designed.
The power has been realigned.